|Such A Time As This|

By: Deanna Michelle- Kenya,Africa 

~Esther 4:14~

For if thou altogether holdest the peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth thether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?

Before coming here to Africa, I received a letter from the mother of Eden and Jezreel (B.E Philippines *smile*) Out of all that their mom shared to me, this Scripture Esther 4:14 is what stood out the most.  She wrote, “Believe that He has prepared you for such a time as this Est 4:14.” Though at the time, I didn’t understand the fullness of it. Even now at times I think why me, Lord? To be honest, in my heart I truly feel that I’m the worse person to be sent to this nation for this purpose. But the Lord has put on my heart once again to share part of my testimony of how He sent me here to Kenya, Africa for such a time as this! 

The Lord’s timing is perfect. I know now why He chose to send me at this time in my life, though I feel very inadequate and unable to fulfill what He has called me to do in this ministry. And that’s the thing! I cannot out of my own volition be able to carry out ALL that He has planned for my life and the calling He has placed me in. I can’t do it on my own by myself. It’s through the Lord Jesus Christ and by HIS strength, I can do all things! (Phil.4:13) This is a constant reminder I have to tell myself daily for at times I try to do it my own way.  But as the Scriptures say in Proverbs 3:5-7, I’m willing now to trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding. It’s in that state of being, all my burdens, worries, and doubts fade away…because I cast all of them upon the One who cares for me! (1Pet.5:7) 

In these past 175 days to date of living here in Africa, I have learned something about myself that I never knew before. Whenever I experience adversity, I can give up so easily if not for the grace and mercy of the Lord to help me. Yet if I see my friend in need, my heart goes out to them and a fire in me ignites a strength and courage I never thought I had! I can be strong for others when I need to. For myself, I can’t. Therefore, with all diligence I put my focus and concern towards the needs of others rather than myself. For its when I think of others with compassion that Christ had for us, I’m obeying His Word as it is written in 1 Thes. 5:14, “…comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men.” When I think of others, I forget all that was worrying my soul because of the care and compassion the Lord puts in my heart for my friends and family. 

With that said, I am reminded of the compassion we see in the heart of Esther towards her people. Esther 4:16 writes of Queen Esther and her mandate she was compelled to do, but before doing so, she purposed in heart for 3 days and nights to fast and pray with her maidens. Knowing that she may perish as a result of what she was set forth to do, Esther was willing to lay down her life—No greater love than this (John 15:13). That’s the heart the Lord has given me towards His people in this nation of Africa, as well as the Philippines, India, Pakistan, Burma, and future nations we will be touching.  I have a love that I never had before, for the faithful saints dear to my heart with whom I have joints and marrow, bonds not easily broken.

I recall back to about 3 months ago, I had a strong conviction in my heart that drove me to my knees in prayer and fasting for the Holy Spirit to bring unity in the midst of all the chaos, confusion, and spiritual warfare. Though I can’t share the depth of it all, I know those times I was falling on my face, tears flowing, and heart crying, I found strength, peace, and release of all the pain and discomfort I held within my soul. It’s no wonder why prayer and fasting is essential, especially when facing spirituals battles that can’t be explained in the natural. As it’s written, we must fight the good fight of faith! (1Tim.6:12) Fight for those who can’t fight for themselves. Fight when we feel we have no fight left in us… Praise God for He says in His Word, (2 Cor. 12:9) in those times we are weak, His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect.

There’s not much more I feel that I can add at the moment. What better way to end than the grace of God that He has given to us! May His grace cover each and every one of you today and always <3

~ Deanna Michelle

To learn more about Deanna and the other Becoming Esther sisters, Visit: http://becomingesther.org/becoming-esther-international/