|He’s Killing Me|

By Melody Mohnhaupt

“I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20

     Chances are, you've heard this verse before. If you are a Christian, you probably claim to want this to some degree or another. It’s easier to say than to do, such as most things in life. But, I mean, who in their right mind really longs to “die”?  

     I’ve known of this concept since forever it seems and in the last few years, have truly desired this over my life. However, it wasn't ’til very recently that the Lord kind of showed it to me in a new (or maybe just clearer) way. 

     Since I have surrendered my life to the Lord, I have “changed” a lot (in a good way I’d say). I used to see it as God transforming me. (And I still believe that he does this) But just recently, the Lord gave me a simple word. He said, “I’m not changing you. I’m killing you”. Wow. That sounds a little morbid. But, remember, this is strictly spiritual. Once I started thinking about it, it was like a whole new revelation from the Lord.

     Each day as I continue to walk with the Lord, he kills a little part of the old me. 

“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 

He kills a little bit of my selfishness, my greed, my doubt, my fear, my timidity, and all of the qualities that I relinquish to him as we walk together. I picture myself as almost a hollow shell of a body that is full of my own ways, and each time a part of me dies, it evaporates from the shell; leaving available space. This space in now vacant for Jesus to come fill it with himself. As this process continues, gradually, I become filled with more of him, and less of myself. To where, eventually, I will be completely dead, and Jesus will be alive in me.

     I’ve spoken to someone about this topic before, and got almost reprimanded for - I guess, “selling myself short” (in their opinion). They thought I was giving up and not believing in myself by wanting to let go of myself and be filled with Jesus. This concept nearly infuriated them. They saw it as an excuse for having low self confidence. They told me things like, ‘NO! YOU can do anything YOU put your mind to! YOU are great! You don't need God to be in you to feel “good enough” or to accomplish what you want to. YOU are great all n your own!” And so many other things that were along those lines. 

     I understood what this person was trying to say, but at the same time, it was (in many ways) conflicting with the Word. It was people with this mentality in the Bible that were cast down. Lucifer, for example, trusted in his own power over God (his creator’s) power. He was casted down from heaven. Nebuchadnezzar boasted in his own works (which were, in reality, the works of God). He was turned into a beastly creature, So many others in the Bible exemplified pridefulness, and each time it resulted in a severe penalty.

“For the day of the Lord of hosts shall be upon every one that is proud and lofty, and upon every one that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low:” Isaiah 2:12

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18

    I realize that I have talents and great qualities that, even if I didn't die to myself, I could probably accomplish some cool things in life. But here’s the thing. I believe whole-heartedly that God gave me each talent and quality that I have. And not only to do with it whatever I want to do, but to use it to bring glory and honor to His Name. 

     The closer I get with his, the greater my desire becomes to die. I want to be used for His glory. I want His will to be done in my life. I want to be filled with Him. 

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” 

Isaiah 55:8-9

     I guess my point is, living a life filled with Jesus and his ways, far exceeds a life filled with my own. An empty shell of a body is MUCH better off filled with Jesus that filled with me. He is So Far above be. I’m honored that he would even want to dwell in me. I don’t want to live. I want to die - so that Jesus can live.

|Praying For My Prince|

By Livy Jarmusch

Singlehood. That word is so loaded. Talking about “singlehood” can evoke so many different emotions and opinions. The world looks at singlehood as some sort of rare and life-strangling disease that can only be cured by excessive dating! Many young women think that singlehood is a painful burden that you must get delivered from ASAP!

As a young teen, when I made the decision to trust God with my love story, hand Him the pen, and wait for my future husband, I was really excited about the idea. In my young mind, I just knew that God was going to write a most beautiful fairy tale. I knew it my heart of hearts that it would be something far more magical than Cinderella, High School Musical, and the Sound of Music combined! As most girls my age were dating around and suffering through painful breakups, I was totally content to stand by the sidelines and dream about my happily ever after. My first date. My first slow dance. My first kiss. It would all be so, so exciting!
 
Fast forward several years, and everyone on my Facebook friends list is engaged. Married. Having adorable little children. And I find myself standing in the same place that I was when I first made this decision: totally and completely single! Let's just be real. It can be hard sometimes. But I know that the temptation to doubt God’s promises is dangerously entrapping. So I won’t do it. I refuse to listen to the enemies lies. If I’m ever feeling down in the dumps about my lack-of-boyfriend status, I run into God’s presence and hear Him sing His sweet love songs over my soul! He reminds me of who my First Love is. He reminds me why I’m waiting for this unknown mysterious man so patiently, and what the reward will be for my obedience. He so graciously removes any pain or discontentment, and awakens my heart to the joy of the season I am in! Singlehood is so sweet. This time is precious. After I’m married I will never have days quite like these again! The Lord is so good at putting everything back into His gloriously exciting perspective! 

Praying for my future husband is something that I do often. But sometimes it can be hard to pray for someone you’ve never even met before! So what are you supposed to pray? How can you pray deeper, more meaningful, and powerful prayers for your future man?

Several months ago, while reading in the book of Daniel, this verse jumped out at me! It immediately made me think of the generation of young men that God is raising up in the earth. "Young men in whom there was no blemish, but good looking, gifted in all wisdom, possessing knowledge, and quick to understand, who had ability to serve in the king's palace, and whom they might teach the language and literature of the Chaldeans." (Daniel 1:6) 

I pulled several nuggets from this verse, and started applying them to pray for my future Holy Hunk! 

#1. “Young men in whom there was no blemish…”
God wants to raise up a new breed of fearless, humble, kind 
and strong men who burn with a spirit of integrity and 
unfailing love! He wants His sons to be pure and without blemish, washed in the blood of Jesus. I pray that my "Daniel" would be pure in heart, mind, word, and deed. There are so many ways that the enemy is trying to attack and steal the purity of young men…we have to keep them covered in prayer!  

#2. “And good looking” 
Oh, what a prayer! That he would be good looking! Can I get an amen?! This particular nugget isn’t overly spiritual, but it’s totally worth something praying into! ;)

#3. “Gifted in all wisdom” 
Wisdom is such a vital building block in the Kingdom. The book of Proverbs makes it so clear that wisdom is a key to unlock the revelation, victory, and favor that God has for us!

“I keep asking that the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better.” (Eph 1:17) 

#4. “Possessing knowledge and quick to understand”

The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge. The purpose of knowledge is to know God, and to experience His love and His perfect nature, then be part of the beautiful miracle of expressing that love to others! As I pray for knowledge and understanding for my future man, it isn’t for the purpose of being “smart.” Knowledge that doesn’t lead to an encounter with God’s love can puff itself up in pride, and become stiff religion. Knowledge alone cannot change the world. It has to be knowledge and love working together as one. I am praying that my prince will be filled with knowledge and understanding so that he would have a deeper revelation of who God is, what the heartbeat of Jesus looks like, then have the grace to be able to experience and live it out! 
“And I pray that you, being rooted and grounded in faith, may have power together with all the saints, to comprehend the length, width, height and depth of His love, to know the love of Christ that that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” (Eph 3:17-19)

#5. "Who had ability to serve in the king's palace."

Did you know that Daniel and his friends trained for three years before they became servants of the king? They had to be prepared and equipped for it. Isn’t that an interesting thought? I can imagine training for an impressive new job, or an important role, but who trains to become a servant? 
Think about Jesus washing the feet of His disciples, and what a huge impact that must have had on them when He told them that their job was to go out and do the same thing. Do you think they were surprised to learn that the height of all greatness is to become a servant? When Jesus said, “To be the first in the Kingdom of God, you have to become the servant of all” I’ll bet they never imagined all of the training and process that was ahead of them, to humble themselves and serve their king! God esteems the role of servant-hood so highly! From His perspective, humility is royalty. That verse makes me want to pray all the more that both my husband and I will humbly serve one another, the King, and His people. 

#6. "And whom they might teach the language and literature of the Chaldeans." 

I pray that my husband would have a teachable spirit, and that he would use wisdom to know the “language” of this world. Even though he is a citizen of Heaven, he has to know how to reach the people of earth! I pray that he would know how to relate to other people, influence non-believers, and make a massive impact on the pagan world we live in, just like Daniel did! 

#7. Lastly, Daniel 1:8 says, "But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would NOT defile himself wit the portions of the king's delicacies." 

This verse was talking about the unclean food that was laid before Daniel and his friends which they refused it and stuck to God’s laws. They wanted to remain pure and faithful in their relationship with the Lord, even though they were living in a pagan, twisted, messed up culture. Today, our men are not being tempted with bacon, but they are being tempted with the world’s “delicacies.” As we all know, the enemy tries to ensnare this generation in whatever way he can. We MUST intercede for our men, that they will purpose in their hearts NOT to defile themselves with the impurities of the world. 

“When you sit down to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are a man of great appetite. Do not desire his delicacies, for it is a deceptive food.”  (Proverbs 23:1-3) 

Pray for the appetite of your future husband. Pray that he hungers and thirsts after the things of God, and not after the things of this world! 

There is a huge battle happening over the hearts of the guys of our generation, so let’s keep praying for them! 

Don’t grow weary in the wait, sister! Use this time to be busy about your Father’s Kingdom, and use every single moment to fall deeper and deeper in love with Jesus!  Use your time to intercede, seek God, and keep your future husband covered in prayer! I hope this added a little bit of extra fuel to your tank of powerful prayers for your Holy Hunky Man!

Blessings, 

Livy Jarmusch

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|What is Worship?|

By Britt Nilsson

Note: before you read this, please understand that I write this in an effort to bring freedom, hope, and excitement. This is not to challenge, demean, or offend anyone or their particular views. I believe we serve a HUGE God, who made millions of people with millions of opinions, and I think that is absolutely necessary, beautiful, and healthy. These are just thoughts that have brought light, life, and perspective to me, so I wanted to share them with you…more as a topic of conversation than as a matter of right and wrong. I hope you find my heart in this, and I sincerely pray that it touches yours. 

 So, it all started about a week or two ago, when I went to a Hillsong conference at the Forum in LA. The show was a massive spectacle, complete with full-on EDM soundscape, laser light tshow, pumping bass, kaleidoscope visuals, glitter, strobe-lights, confetti…you get the idea. It was loud enough to literally shake your body into involuntary movement, if all of the aforementioned hadn’t made dancing irresistible enough already. Which, for me it certainly had. 

I love to jump around, I love to lose myself in music and emotion, I love to worship with large crowds, and I especially love to see artists putting all of their talent, heart, and creativity on display for Jesus. Suffice it to say, I enjoyed myself LIKE CRAZY! I could feel the Holy Spirit in the atmosphere and I cried, laughed, and danced til I was exhausted. Worship parties like these get me really excited about what I believe is a very accurate and beautiful, if not hugely tamed-down, picture of what a dance party in heaven will look like! It feels like an earthly foretaste of the explosion of love, excitement, and fun that we will experience when we all worship together forever. 

For me, the emotional, joyful, exuberant atmosphere takes me to a place of release and freedom. It truly allows me to abandon myself to worshipping my Father. I feel my body react to beautiful sounds, my heart react to beautiful words, and my spirit connect to the thousands in the crowd as we (literally) SHOUT the name of Jesus with all of the breath in our lungs. The glittering display reminds me of the glory of the God that we serve as the synth and piano and drums all work together to create moments of togetherness and holy reverence – connecting every person in the stadium to a singular experience in space and time. A space and time devoted to enjoying, thanking, and crying out to the God who loves us.

As the night came to a close (womp, womp), I posted some photos and video of the experience on social media (as one does). This was partly because I wanted to remember the experience myself, but also because I wanted to share the excitement with all of my friends about what happened that night. I assumed, naively perhaps, that everyone in the world would agree with me, share equally in my delight, and perhaps even want to come along next time. 
Now, even though it has happened dozens of times before, I must admit I was still surprised when I was met (rather promptly) with some heavy resistance and outright offense. My followers wrote me personal messages to inform me that true worship doesn’t require a light-show. Ouch. People wrote to explain to me that this new type of ‘worship’ doesn’t glorify God but the artists. Ok. Others said that loud, large gatherings like this are not what Christ intended for church to turn into, and that this was ‘not what true worship was about’. Yikes.

At first, I felt personally attacked. My heart felt an aching twinge of rejection, a hot wave of insecurity, a need to defend myself. I felt like these people were implying that my experience was not only invalid, but actually an intentional rejection of the very thing I meant to do: Worship. 
And it hurt. But somewhere deep in my heart, I felt like I should refrain from responding immediately. It didn’t feel loving or necessary to start one of those (all-too-familiar) church arguments about protocol, where both sides feel superior and it becomes about who is more ‘right’ than about what God thinks. I didn’t want to be the “new” Christian versus the “old”. I also didn’t want to speak about something so important before I actually knew what I thought about it all. 

Before I responded, I wanted to know the truth about what I felt God was telling ME about what worship really is. I wanted to utilize the offense and ask God how best to understand my reaction to it. Sometimes there’s nothing better than someone challenging your views to make you get in touch with what your views actually are. It isn’t fun to have your beliefs called into question, but it can really make you dig deeper than you might on your own.

And so, the real question that I had to ask Holy Spirit essentially boiled down to this: ‘what IS worship _supposed_ to be?’ or, more specifically, “what does God want it to be?” 
I have to admit, this one stumped me at first, because there have honestly been times I’ve felt closer to God walking to the grocery store humming a song in my head than I have taking full-on communion at a fancy service. I have felt profoundly “worshipful” (it IS a word, I looked it up) standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon, simply having my mind blown without ever singing, or even saying, a single word. I have felt like I was worshipping as I sat alone with God on the beach, watching the powerful waves, feeling overwhelmed with awe and gratitude for the sheer greatness of God's design and majesty. I have felt worshipful (there it is, again) even at secular concerts, where beautiful music engulfs me and makes my soul come alive, and the only thing I can do is lift my hands to heaven and thank God for the sweetness of that once-in-a-lifetime moment.

I've worshipped God on the Sea of Galilee in Israel, singing hymns on the water where Jesus walked. I have worshipped God alone in my room; my heart full of pain, my knees sore, and my eyes full of tears as my forehead touched the carpet. I've worshipped in Peru with hundreds of orphans singing in Spanish. I've worshipped alone with my headphones blaring in downtown LA, late at night on a busy street. I have worshipped with dear friends in small sacred spaces. All of these have been worship…or so I had thought…
But still, I had to ask Holy Spirit if I was truly worshipping in these moments. That was a scary question. 

A scary question, with a simple answer. I heard Him say, “God sees the posture of your heart”. Immediately, I felt peace. Immediately, I felt free. I felt loved. I felt safe. I felt…seen. 
It sounded like truth to me.
That’s because everything I know about my Father makes me believe He sees the most hidden recesses of our hearts, at every moment, and that He cares. Only He knows the specific attitude, motion, and head-space that will get us closest to Him at each and every different point in our lives. I believe worship will not and can not be the same experience for every person, or for every generation, or for every taste, preference, proclivity, or season of life. And, when I really think about it, isn’t that more true to life? 
Isn’t it more wonderful to think that worship is just not a small, routine, easily-defined act? Isn't it freeing to think we will never run out of ways to worship our Father? That we are never doing it ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ if our hearts are truly leaning toward Him? Isn’t it FUN to think it could be FUN to connect to His Presence?

 Jesus came so that we could have eternal and constant and intimate access to the Throne. So, in theory, any and every moment is the best time and place to worship, in whatever way brings You into alignment with the Father’s purposes and heart for you. Is there ever a bad, wrong, or unsuitable environment to cry out to Him, thank Him, to acknowledge His Majesty in all things? The bible says "every good and perfect gift comes from God", so when we praise Him for his good gifts, are we not worshipping Him with our very spirits? 

You can call me a hippie, or a raver, or a freak, but as for me, I want to be worshipping all the time. I want to make the “worship” category bigger, deeper, richer, more diverse and more accessible. I want to worship in my car, at the grocery store, getting gas, while I work, or even in a hospital room. I want to give God glory with all that I do. I want to live in a state of worship and let my love for God permeate the way I experience every single moment I am alive. That’s because I am convinced that God is simply pleased when we reach out for Him with our hearts, whether it is in a beautiful, reverent song, or a stadium full of exploding hearts, or even alone with a discrete act of surrender.

I have been stretched, blessed, and changed for the better with each encounter, large or small, with our Heavenly Father. I cannot imagine that He is ranking these experiences, or calling some of them 'real' and some 'not'. I think the heart of God longs to connect with the heart of His people, and I think when that is happening, He smiles. I think heaven rejoices when we call on His Name and tell Him He is wonderful. I think that whenever and however we praise Him, we are simply reminding ourselves who we love, who we need, and who is really in control. 

And that’s the point: the act of worship sets us free! I am saddened to see Christians to fall into the trap of excluding others, invalidating their experiences, or making God smaller than He is. That feels like a man-made prison-cell, when I believe our God wants us to live in an expansive, inclusive, abundant Kingdom. We are so lucky and blessed to worship a loving Father who sees into our very hearts, and doesn’t disregard our praise for lack of other’s ability to see the value in it.

I think He wants us to dance sometimes, weep sometimes, stand with arms raised when we want to touch His glory, and fall to our knees when we feel the weight of it. Because, when our hearts are turned toward His goodness, attuned to His Voice, praising and appreciating His faithfulness, majesty, consistency, kindness, power, and truth, we can actually see the world as God intends. Worship doesn’t cure the problems around us, but it does transform us, as it creates a perspective that is more aligned with God’s. When we give Him glory, we remember we are not alone. 

I believe whenever and wherever and however a human being purposely admits this and turns their affections toward Him, He thoroughly delights in that simple act of worship. Worshipping is an act of praise, surrender, gratitude, and intention that takes place whenever we purposefully shift our gaze back to Him. Sometimes as a small turn of the heart when we choose to play a song that honors Jesus, or other times with a hard, heavy, even painful cry out to God to save us from the temptation to wallow in despair, sadness, self-pity, addictive behavior, self-sabotage, gossip, self-reliance, or any of the things that we might be tempted to worship above Our Savior. We worship God when we place our hearts in a posture that puts Him back on the throne. Or, at least that’s how I see it.

So, to avoid any confusion, I certainly don’t think church “needs” lights and explosions and spectacle to praise God. I don’t think a child of God needs anything other than an open heart full of praise to do it. I think God loves and delights in all of the ways His children seek to glorify Him. I think He’s more concerned with the heart of a person than the key a song is sung in. I think He shows up with just as much enthusiasm when He hears electronic music in a giant stadium, a hymn in a small-town church, a quiet prayer in a cubicle, or a million places in between. I think He delights in our worshipping—whether it is large, small, loud, quiet, joyful, somber, public, or private.

I come alive inside when I consider the heart of our Father who longs to draw near to us whenever (and however) we endeavor to draw near to Him. And, remember that no one can see your heart but God. If you are reaching out for Him, praising Him, calling on His Name, offering yourself to Him…then you are engaged in the call to worship. God knows when your posture is surrendered, when your thoughts are toward Him, when your intention is to bless His Name. Take comfort in the precious fact that He truly, deeply, and consistently delights in you, just as you delight in Him. That is the precious and divine romance called worship, and no one can ever take that away from you. 

Be blessed! Love you guys, 

BKN